The last six weeks have been a journey, one I’m not sure where it will end and that fills me with uncertainty. I’m trying to be open to whatever it is I’m supposed to be doing at this point in my life with God’s help. It’s not easy.
One day I went to the beach right in front my parent’s home in Puerto Rico and a few minutes later a few people get out of their vehichles and headed to shore. There was a young man holding his surfboard, two little girls and an older man. The girls giggled as they started playing in the sand and the wind played with their hair. The older man took out his cell phone and as his son started to walk towards the water he asked him to stop for a minute. The young man smiled as his dad took a picture of him holding the surfboard with the water right behind him, he then started to walk to shore. He stood there a few minutes looking at the waves, timing them I’m sure. I couldn’t get my camera ready before he decided to jump in on the board and off he went. His dad was closer to shore now and the girls continued playing. I snapped the picture as the dad watched his son get into the deep waters. I don’t think his eyes left him more than a few seconds at a time as he would look at the girls right under his feet, he was the guardian.
All of this made me think about whose job is it to care for our family. In life matters we all have a job to do. We sometimes want to do it all even though we are not prepared to do so, but we have developed ways to have others care for us if we need to. That’s the reason why people study different fields according to their God given talents in order to serve humanity. But now my questions is, should be rely solely on those individuals and forget about the responsability we have to be informed of our own being in order to then look for the proper assistance with others? I believe it is very important we know about ourselves; physically and spiritually. We can’t let others decide our fate and go blindly into the unknown. We can’t know it all but we can know ourselves and be able to tell when something is really wrong or out of balance.
I like to be at the gate of my affairs and those of my family, vigilant for any kind of attack that might come our way. I also like to offer guidance and support when needed even though sometimes it can be challenging. Right now I’m not sure if I have all the necessary tools to do a good job, so I’m informing myself the best way I can and feeding my soul at the same time with prayer. I’m far from perfect and I realize my nothingness before God but not as you might think. I know he created me and to him I’m very special and important, but I must realize my place before him and not become so proud that I completely forget about who created me out of love. When I acknowledge my nothingness it’s when he raises me up and begins to mold me to better accomplish that which he had designated for me.
A lot has come my way in the last six months and at times it seems overwhelming. That’s the time I need to learn to let go and blindly trust again. It’s not easy for me; the one who traces goals and projects along with deadlines to be met in order to see something done. The one who tries to be strong and resolve any kind of problem that comes my way in order to make my family happy. I like to have systems implemented in order to have everything run smoothly but my systems need to be revised again. Whenever I need to make changes it’s very hard, because I’ve been used to work in a certain manner. I try desperately different things and get frustated when nothing works. Finding the balance between love and discipline is not easy. Now I know what Oprah says that being a mom is the hardest job on earth, it is, but on the same token is the most rewarded.
So I will continue to be the guardian of those I love and do my job which entails whatever concerns them including their health and overall well being.
Do you consider yourself a guardian? In which ways?